“She had man hands.”
For those of you who don’t know, one of my favourite shows is Seinfeld. There hasn’t been a single episode that I haven’t thought was hilarious, and I own seasons 1-4 on DVD.
It is in this vein that I have come up with a Seinfeldian nickname for a class of people that annoy me to no end:
The Winkers - It really is as simple as it sounds. People who wink at me annoy me. There are few exceptions: a member of the opposite sex using it (very) sparingly as a means of flirtation or anyone using it to make fun of said group, The Winkers.
What usually makes the Winkers so annoying is that they are unceasingly pleasant. I am reminded of “The Texan” as introduced in the first chapter of “Catch 22.” It’s really this notion of unceasing that is key to my dislike of this group. They constantly joke and use sarcasm, and feel the need to punctuate 98% of these jokes and sly remarks with a wink.
Winkers are often the same as Invaders of personal space. They will place a hand on your shoulder as a greeting, completely throwing you off your guard. It is also likely that they really like shaking hands and being overly friendly all the time.
Even if, and this is the key part, you’ve been introduced already and have known this person for a period of time longer than one week.
If you find you are a winker, don’t fret, the fact that you realize you’re a winker is the first step to recovery.
I’ve realized, after writing this, that we have a winker currently leading our country.
Who is also an invader of Personal Space:
Ha! I had a teacher, once, who had the habit of winking. She tried not to do it, but it was just natural. At one time she served in the military and accidently winked at her Captain. You can only imagine the chaos that ensued.
As long as she tried to control it, then I think she’s in the clear. It might still weird me out, ha.
As for her military experience, I’m sure her captain was completely understanding and laughed it all off.
There’s a winker at my job who drives me insane. The worst part is there’s no way to ask them to stop; they just do it out of habit.
You are correct about that. If they’re an invader of personal space, though, you can probably confront that a lot easier than if you’re only complaint is “dude, stop with the winking.”
I had a co-worker in college who walked around doing the shoulder rub thing that W is doing above. To my knowledge it was never solicited by any of me female co-workers…especially not me. I had not yet acquired my skills of assertion at the time and I foolishly let myself be a victim to his icky shoulder rubs. He always said, “You’re so tense.” No kidding.
Incidentally, his name was John Holmes. I am not making that up.
Anyway, total violation of personal space and I have no doubt that he was a winker.
these people need to be stopped!
btw, the video is much funnier (of W doing the shoulder rub). I’m just too lazy to put it up here.