So I was at Costco about a week back. I was just doing some shopping - groceries and the like, when I spied this in the DVD section:
I had heard about this movie. I had heard it was terrible, bizarre, and poorly acted. I had to have it. This may seem like a bizarre desire, so I should explain myself.
The Fountainhead is a novel by Ayn Rand, an author/philospher, which served as a medium for her to express her philosophy, Objectivism, through characters which lived according to its tenets.
Objectivism is the philosophy that all individuals should be treated as ends, and not means. As Ayn Ran summed it up, Objectivism’s basic ideas can be broken up thusly
Why this interest in the Fountainhead and Ayn Rand? You ask. It was on her philosophy that I wrote my Bachelor’s Essay. I find Objectivism to be a very logical and (seemingly) paradoxically heartfelt and warm philosophy. It’s focus is on the individual working in concert with others, and all are pursuing their own Rational Self Interest, resulting in a semi-utopian society, though that is not the goal.
Soooo I paid 12 dollars and took the Fountainhead DVD home with me. I put off watching it until last night.
It was terrible. Awful. Hilarious. It wasn’t really until after the movie that I realized just how hilarious it was. Unless you have read the book, I doubt that you would even know exactly what is going on. The dialogue is choppy and robotic. The would be “sex” scene is overacted and bizarre (much like the corrosponding scene in the book in that case).
Basically, it’s hard to realize just how unrealistic the dialogue in the novel is until you see it acted out on screen.
A much much better version of the novel can be found here.
- “what are you gonna do with that?” (the answer of law school usually satisfies them)
- “what type of philosophy did you study?”
- “you wanna know why my philosophy is?” (The answer to this one is always no)
- “hey, I majored in philosophy!”
- laughter…<pause>…”wait, really?”
- some story about a friend who majored in a philosophy and has done absolutely nothing with his life, and regrets it completely.
- some story about a friend who majored in philosophy and is highly successful, in a field that has absolutely nothing to do with Philosophy.
- “I’m not surprised, because I find philosophy majors incredibly attractive. My name’s Ginger, by the way.”
- “A philosophy major killed my father, you bastard.”
- “I took a philosophy class once in college. It was really hard.”
- “Don’t you find that Kierkegaard’s use of a Christian voice, vis a vis, Johannes de Silentio, is intended to illustrate ideas that are not essentially Christian, such as the leap of the absurd, demonstrated using faith as an example?” (answer: yes)
- “Well isn’t that nice? Here’s 5 dollars.”
- “Well isn’t that nice? Here’s 50 dollars.”
- “I can see you’re putting that to good use.” (usually said while I’m at work…at the park)
Today, as I was driving the company truck around - a massive Ford F-150 - Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic” came on the radio. I don’t think I’ve actually heard this song since High School, and remembered liking it then. As with many nostalgia inducing songs of my “youth,” I turned up the radio. Now it is nothing new that the main form of Irony in her song is that it is a song about Irony that fails to illustrate any true examples of Irony. This isn’t entirely true, however, as the third stanza about “Mr Play It safe” being afraid to fly and then being a passenger on a plane that crashes is, in fact quite ironic. One does need the outside knowledge that airplane travel is touted as the “safest form of travel,” but we’ll give Alanis the benefit of a doubt on that one.
The rest of the ironically non-ironic examples that she gives are all pretty much just unfortunate turns of events - not necessarily irony. But they can be, with a little help - which is why I’m here - to ironize those amazingly erudite lyrics (that’s verbal irony). The names of characters who have suffered irony have been used to erase all forms of subtlety.
Oedipus had reached the end of his life. He was celebrating his 98th birthday, and was deathly ill. To overcome the illness, he would need a very expensive surgical procedure. In his final moments, he called his daughter Antigone to his side.
“My darling,” he said, “take this 5 dollar bill and get me a powerball ticket. Then maybe I’ll be able to leave my family something useful behind, since I gambled away all of your inheritance. Just be sure to play my lucky numbers.”
Antigone, realizing that this was a useless gesture, and harboring a deep loathing of the gambling that had eaten up the family riches, kept the 5 dollars and bought him a candy bar instead. She kept the change.
The next day, the numbers were announced. His lucky numbers were the winning lottery numbers. He was so excited about finally winning the lottery that his heart gave out and he died.
Romeo was a tyrant king who was notorious for inventing absurd methods of execution. One of his favourites was death by spooning. It was similar to stoning, except, instead of stones, spoons were thrown at the person until he was slowly bludgeoned to death. When Romeo was informed that he had just finished a glass of Chardonnay that had a black fly in it, and was not made aware of it until it was too late, he ordered the cook to be spooned. The cook, having spent all his life around various types of flat ware, was able to dodge the deadly spoons. Fed up with the ineffectual nature of spooning in this case, Romeo told the cook to give him his knife. The cook, remaining loyal even upon threat of death, gave his knife to the king, who stabbed the loyal cook with it.
Years later the king met a beautiful woman, Desdemona, who tamed him and made him a much more benevolent leader. They got married, but it rained on their wedding day throwing the king into a rage, causing him to be 2 minutes too late to pardon a man he had sentenced to death earlier in his tyrannical career. Because of this, Desdemona called off the wedding. The compounding events of the innocent man’s death, and losing the love of his life caused him to sink into an irreversible depression. Unable to deal with the depression, he killed himself…with a spoon.
—–
I’ve got nothing for “free ride when you’ve already paid,” “traffic jam when you’re already late,” or “no-smooo ooo king sign on your cigarette break.” Not very ironic…don’t you think?
——-
Ok, ok, ok. I know. It’s a weak post. I haven’t posted in a while, and thought this would make for a funny post. I realize now that it isn’t funny, nor that creative. But without the stupid posts, how would you appreciate my posts that are much more brilliant. Think about that.
I really do appreciate everything you’re doing for me right now. I’m getting some hands on experience with the more practical aspects of being a paralegal, and I imagine that such experience will prove useful once I enter the job market for that, my first, stage of the legal profession. So please keep that in mind as I say what I have to say right now…
You are, quite possibly, the biggest waste of time and energy I’ve ever encountered.
I know your feelings are a bit hurt right now, but let me try and explain to you how worthless you are. Yesterday, I stood out at the intersection of Meeting and Calhoun streets downtown, and painstakingly took notes on all the features of said intersection. Every tree, every building, every sign, the stop lights, the cycle of the stop lights, every bush, every curb, and every flag pole has been accounted for in my notes so that I may construct a detailed diagram of that, the busiest, intersection in Downtown Charleston. As I paced off the distance from the curb to the edge of the Holiday Inn, I cursed how useless this assignment was. I gained nothing from doing this. It was pointless. If I work for a lawyer, and he/she asks me to diagram an intersection for an accident case, this Class will have been no help in the process. I imagine that the lawyer would send someone who has done this before and then I would tag along to find out exactly what he/she wants - or he/she would give me explicit instructions - much like this assignmnet - and I would do it…for money. I spent 3 hours in the heat, and all I can say I got from the experience is a nice Flip Flop tan on my feet.
I mean I appreciate having a class that offers such wonderful hands on experience, but I figure that I’m going to get most of that hands on experience as a paralegal. I can’t imagine any lawyer looking for a paralegal, and assuming that graduates from the Trident Technical College Paralegal program are fully prepared to do everything their first day on the job.
The other courses that Trident has to offer are quite useful, however. Legal research was a good one. Those are skills that a lawyer does not want to have to teach his/her paralegals. Same goes for general knowledge. That’s stuff that is useful for paralegals to have coming out the gate.
Busy work, however, is not useful. It makes me want to tear my hair out, and run repeatedly into a wall. One might say that that would be counter productive, but I’m not going to pass judgement.
So don’t feel too bad, I’m sure it’s not your fault that you are a useless sack of crap of a class.
Well I finally got a copy of The New Hold Steady Album, Stay Positive. How did I get it early, you ask? Um… Itunes…yeah…Itunes, that’s it. Regardless, I have the album, and have been listening to it non-stop for the last couple of days. My first impression was not as strong as my impression of “Stuck between stations,” or “Chip’s Ahoy” from Boys and Girls of America. Go back to my post about concerts and scroll down to the Hold Steady section, and re-watch the live performance of Stuck Between Stations. In re-reading that post, I realized that that video was by and large the best one.
But back to the album. It didn’t have that initial hook that the last one did, but I gave it a couple more listens. The reason that this is probably my favourite Hold Steady album - aside from the initial love of it - is that it draws heavily from their first three albums. Little references here and there, old lyrics recycled and made new. Whether talking about “killer parties,” “Emore (spelling?) City,” and “Whoever’s gonna get you the highest,” the Hold Steady does a great job of using these old images from their previous albums and making them new and fresh.
In the same way, this new Hold Steady album is great in a lot of the ways that the new Death Cab album is great. They’ve gone back to the religion vs rock and roll content of their first two albums, but they’ve clearly gotten better as a band as well. Almost Killed Me and Separation Sunday are fantastic albums, but their slightly unpolished, and Craig Finn was making no attempt to sing. Boys and Girls was a fantastically catchy album, that still had great lyrics (”There was that night that John Berryman thought that he could fly, but he didn’t so he died” or this one, which gets me everytime:
He said “I’ve surrounded myself with doctors
And deep thinkers.
But big heads with soft bodies
Make for lousy lovers.”)
but didn’t have that same grit of the first two albums. This one pulls it all together.
Now I know that some of you just are not going to get past Craig Finn’s voice, which is sad for you, but there you go.
I think that one reason I really love bands like Death Cab, The Decemberists, and The Hold Steady, is because their lyrics are so easily recognizable and quoteable. I mean, you can read these lyrics off of the page and hear the music easily with them. The music and the lyrics are inseparable. Take this Decemberists Lyric for example, from the Crane Wife Album: She’s grand, the bend of her hand diggin deep into the sweep of the sand.
So go buy the new album on Itunes. Definitely do NOT, I repeat, NOT download a copy of the leaked album via torrent download. Or buy the album when it comes out in July - which I’ll be doing as well.
As you might suspect, this post is about concerts. Namely, the ones that I have attended. I just went to see Rilo Kiley at the Music farm last Thursday, and thought that I would do a quick list of all the concerts I’ve gone to in my life. Sounds like fun. I’m not going to include Orchestra concerts I’ve gone to at the Gaillard and elsewhere. Instead, I’ll confine this to pop/rock. I’ve also realized that this can get long and boring, and for those of you who require additional visual stimuli, I’ve embedded some youtube videos, either of the artists, or live versions of songs. I’ve tried to post videos from the venue I saw the show, or at least the same tour on which they were traveling, when I saw them. Enjoy!
First Concert: Carman - 1994 or 1995 - North Charleston Coliseum - North Charleston, SC
For those of you who, fortunately, don’t know who Carman is, he is a Christian Pop/Rap star from the 80’s primarily, but who continued through the 90’s. When I was little, I was all about this Christian Music. Needless to say, I was not “cool.” I haven’t listened to Carman since then, and just now I did a Youtube search of his music, and nearly died laughing. Here’s a clip:
Please tell me you didn’t listen to it all the way through. And I’m not anti-christian here, I don’t think ANYONE should listen to this. I just hope that Christian Hip-Hop has gone the wayside forever.
Concert #2 They Might Be Giants - Fall 2004 - The Music Farm - Charleston, SC
This was my first REAL concert, as I would define it, and my first They Might Be Giants show. This pretty much brands me as a huge nerd. But it was fantastic. They were promoting The Spine on this tour, and also played the song Charleston for the first time. Here’s a They Might Be Giants clip.
Not exactly the same intensity of the Farm, but it’s the best quality live version of James K Polk I could find. There was a confetti cannon at the show.
This show I went to completely on a whim. I had just heard the song Portions for Foxes on the radio for the first time, and loved it. I bought the album, and loved the album. THEN I heard that they were coming to the Music Farm that same week that I had heard the song on the radio for first time and bought the album. Heather and I decided to go. It was fantastic. I can’t find any clips from that tour, but here’s a live clip from the album:
Concert #4 - The Decemberists - Fall 2005 - The Orange Peel - Asheville, NC
My first time driving a long distance to see a show, it would not be the last. This also came about as a kind of whim. Death Cab for Cutie was touring to promote their new album, Plans, and all of our friends were going to go to Atlanta (the nearest venue) to go see them. We procrastinated buying our tickets, and when we attempted to, the show had sold out. We decided to check if any other bands we like were playing, and The Decemberists were playing that Friday in Asheville. (This was Wednesday when we learned of the sold out Atlanta show). We bought tickets, and drove 4 hours to Asheville to see The Decemberists Live. It was FANTASTIC. One of the best shows I’ve ever seen hands down. I do have a live video from their tour, from the DVD version of their portland show that year:
Concert #5 - They Might Be Giants - April 2006 - Music Farm - Charleston, SC
Of course I went to go see them again. When your favourite band comes to your hometown, you have to go, that’s just that. Worried that I might be disappointed, since the first show was so fantastic, I was a little scared. That all faded into a warm Nerd-Ecstasy that can only be brought about by the fact that they saved Birdhouse in Your Soul until the second encore. Sorry, no good Music farm clips. Here’s a clip from the tour:
But this pretty much gives a good example of how awesome the show is.
Concert #6 - The Decemberists - October 27, 2006 - The Tabernacle - Atlanta, GA
How sad that they refuse to come to South Carolina. Alas, I will go to them. Knowing how fantastic the Crane Wife will be live, we pack some bags, and make the 5 hour trip to Hotlanta. The city is dead, save for the mass of Decemberists Fans roaming the streets. The Tabernacle definitely wins as most awesome venue. Luckily, youtube actually has one of my favourite moments from the very concert that I attended. So here, live my life vicariously through technology:
Here’s the second part:
Fantastic. One of those “woos” is most definitely mine.
Concert #7 - Death Cab for Cutie - November 18, 2006 - Littlejohn Coliseum - Clemson, SC
This was a birthday present from my sister. She got me two tickets. She’s awesome. This was also the first time that Death Cab played in SC. Sadly, it was at Clemson. We were up in stadium seating, which is not too conducive to a band like Death Cab. Plus we were behind some crazy people who were really there for Ted Leo who opened. Again, another clip from the actual show:
I went to this concert with a friend of mine, who is a HUGE pumpkins fan. I posted about this already in a post a while back. But it was on the way to this concert that my front right tire tore apart the entire right front fender and part of the bumper. We put on the spare and continued. Thank goodness, because this was easily the most intense show I’ve ever been to. My chest actually hurt during the show from the bass…in a good way. Again, here’s an actual clip:
Concert #9 The Polyphonic Spree - July 15, 2007 - The Showbox - Seattle, WA
If you keep an accurate chronology of events I mention in my blog, this would be the show I saw while in Seattle last summer as halfway point of my Greyhound Summer Journey. Obviously. We didn’t know they were playing in Seattle when we got there. This would definitely rank as one of the most FUN shows I’ve ever been to, which would be inevitable when you’ve got 30 people on one tiny stage.
and here’s a clip with me in it. I am literally at the last second, with my long monkey arms reaching out to the lead singer.
Concert #10 Art Brut and The Hold Steady - Fall 2007 - The 40 Watt Club - Athens, GA
This was the beginning of my Concert Binge 2007. Four of my favourite bands were playing in the same 30 day period. This began with The Hold Steady and Art Brut playing in Athens. I like Art Brut, so that was a bonus, but THS was definitely the main event. It was a tiny intimate venue, which was perfect for a band like them. Again…here’s an actual clip:
I’m one of those waving hands up front. Un-freakin-believablly amazing
Concert #11 - The New Pornographers - Fall 2007 - The Orange Peel - Asheville, NC
This was actually a little bit of a disappointment. I love The New Pornographers. NO ONE has catchier songs with more intelligently written lyrics. Not to mention the fact that Neko Case is a member of the super group. It was a really good show, but I think I was expecting the show to be as phenomenal as the first time I ever heard Mass Romantic. I rate it about a 6 out of 10.
Concert #12 - They Might Be Giants - October 31, 2007 - Music Farm - Charleston, SC
Yes, TMBG on Halloween. The band had some ghoulish makeup on. and played some stuff from their new album - The Else. I went to the show as a pirate/miner/dwarf/bearded guy. It was fun. Again, here’s a clip form the tour, but not the show itself.
Concert #13 - Rilo Kiley - June 12, 2008 - Music Farm - Charleston, SC
I was really excited to see them again, because I am now a huge fan of Rilo Kiley, where I was only a passing fan when I first saw them. I loved their new album, Under the Blacklight, and really wanted to see it live. The show got out at about 1:00am on Friday the 13th of June…and it was my 13th concert… is your mind blown? No…well watch this:
Crappy video…but that was the show I was at last week. So there you go.
And that about wraps it up. I think this might be my longest post ever. So Congratulations for making it this far.
I realize that I left off my tale at a critical and cliffhanging moment. To recap, and keep you all from having to read back over my first 6 posts:
I took the bus cross country last summer, and my last post left off with me in Bemidji, MN, and my bag on it’s own journy to North Dakota. I’m not going to recap more than that, so you might have to go back and refresh yourself on the status of my journey, because here we go!
This was the first and only time that we stayed in a Motel or Lodging of any sort that was not a friend or relative’s house/backyard. Each of us takes a much needed shower and prepares for the next day when we hope to meet with Curling Legend, Pete Fenson.
I also decide that the next day I will try to make it to church. It’s Tuesday, and I missed Mass on Sunday, so I wanted to try to make it up a little bit. That and I figured a blessing wouldn’t be ill advised given the nature of our trip. I decide that with the weather being so nice, the 12 block walk to the church wouldn’t be so bad.
I awake the next morning to find that a cruel practical joke has been played on me. The wonderful 79 degree, breezy weather, has turned into a 50 degree rainy, gusty nightmare. Most people would just have stayed in, gotten some extra sleep and waited for it to get a little nicer out - the main goal of the day being for us to see Pete Fenson. However, if you’ve deduced anything about my personality, you might well realize that the nature of the task at hand being so difficult also makes it that much more desirable for me. Hence my taking a bus to Seattle. So I grab my rain poncho, which I had packed in my carry-on bag, thank goodness, and set out to go to church. The walk was very cold, very gusty, and it didn’t quite rain, rather, it was that annoying misty rain that just makes you colder. Lake Bemidji, which, the day before, had been serene and pictaresque, now had White Caps from the wind. I kept on.
Eventually I made it to the church, attended the 40 minute weekday mass, and met with the Pastor afterwards, telling him my story thus far. A little old lady overhears me, learns that I walked all this way, and offers me a ride back to the motel. I also learned that the Bairds (other members of the Curling team) are parishioners at this church. Once I get back to the motel, the weather has evened out a bit more. It’s still cold and windy, but not really that rainy anymore. We set out walking…again…to try and meet Pete Fenson before our bus comes into town. We make it to Dave’s Pizza to find no one there. We decide to wait, if he’s coming in, he’ll have to pass by us. So we wait
and wait.
and wait.
We are close to despair. I decide to call the restaurant. Maybe he’s inside, and has been this whole time. Who should answer….but PETE FENSON himself!
He says he’ll unlock the front and we can come in for a second. We are both overjoyed. He turns out to be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. He said that since he’s won the bronze medal, there are people who have come by just to say hi, and to meet him. Due to our perseverence and weird semi-worship of the curling legend, this moment is born:
Yes that’s me, for those of you who have not seen what I look like. I now have short hair and have lost some weight.
We walk back to the bus stop, triumphant, and wait for our bus.
The bus comes, and lo and behold, my bag is there. We load onto the bus and make our way back the same way we came to St. Cloud (where the movie Juno took place) and get back on course to the west. Our next major stop is Billings MT. And nothing really happens between now and then. We travel through Fargo, which is just as desolate and depressing as you would think, and then I slept through all of North Dakota - thank God. I don’t actually SEE my bags until we get to Billings, as I was relying on the word of the bus driver, who said he got my bag for me. At which time, I sadly discover that my peanut butter, which I had backed in the mesh part of my back pack, is missing. Fortunately this was the lone casualty of the trip.
Tune in next time, because even though you think Montana will probably be boring…it…isn’t (?) No seriously, I got some good stuff coming up. At least now we’re back in the swing of things.
The title of this post can also double as the name of a brand new Reality Show competition, of which I could easily be the star. Except I would be one of the fools who make the show worth watching because I failed horribly at the outset of the season - at least according to Kaplant Test Prep.
This Sunday, I took it upon myself to take a practice version of the LSAT. I have never taken the test in a serious setting, and I wanted to see how I would do as if it were the real deal. I got in late, so I only had about 30 instead of 35 minutes on the first section. I budgeted my time accordingly and finished the whole section. My first impression of the LSAT, on the very first question, was one of slight despair. Here’s the first question:
If we must refrain from liberating the conquered islands simply because the lives of some civilians would be endangered, then we must never engage in any kind of armed conflict near populated areas.
The Author of the argument assumes that
a) armed conflict invariably endangers the lives of civilians
b) the conquered islands can be liberated without conflict
c) one cannot engage in armed conflict near populated areas without endangering civilians
d) the liberation of the conquered islands is less important than the lives of a few citizens
e) the conquered islands should be liberated despite the risk to civilians
Easy stuff, right? It’s not that I found the question hard (it’s C, by the way), but you had to think about it. C and A are very similar, so you can’t just fly through it - without practice, but even then you can miss the key phrase “near populated areas” if you fly through the test. I was somewhat expecting it to be like the SAT, where you could kind of figure out which answer sounded right, without really knowing the right answer. Well the whole test is like that first question. The despair I felt at the outset of reading that question was pretty much based on the thought of how much thinking I would have to actually do. I got used to it, and sailed through most of the rest of the exam. Two logic games questions stumped me, but for the most part, I grasped the point behind each question.
So I wait until the next day to find out how I did. Apparently I got a 144…out of 180. That’s the lower end of the bell curve. A disheartening fact for me to learn since I hope to go to Georgetown for law school, and you would need at least a 165…if not higher. I spent most of my day at work on monday feeling quite depressed, thought of how bad it would actually be if I just stayed in the parks system for the rest of my life, and anxiously awaited the end of the day when I could go to Kaplan and see which questions I had gotten wrong.
When I actually checked the answers, much to my relief, I realized that there was no way the answers they said were correct were better than my answers. (The whole test is a “choose the best answer kind of thing). When I looked up the explanations online, it turned out my answers were right, for the most part, so instead of getting 30% of the Logical reasoning questions right, it looked more like 80%. I still don’t know what my actual score was, but I’m hoping that helps it out a little.
All in all, though, the test was a lot of fun. Despite all the thinking, and all the Kaplan-making-me-feel-like-my-career-choices-have-been-ill-made thing.
You like it or you don’t. It’s listed as “bar rock.” And it is phenomenal. I saw them play in Athens last year, but this summer they’ll be coming to Charleston to play at a dive out on James Island, called the Pour House (very clever).
The show in Athens did not disappoint, and I would say it was easily on of the best shows I have ever seen. (Smashing Pumpkins, Rilo Kiley, They Might Be Giants, The Decemberists, Polyphonic Spree all rank up there too).
First off, my title almost rhymes, and for that, I am somewhat proud of it. That pride is more akin to that of a parent who’s child makes straight D’s in school, but then, beams with pride when said lackluster student brings home a C-. That kind of pride. I’m not proud of my lack of a point with three sentences behind me already in this post, with one of them poorly worded and slightly run-on. (make that two)
I suppose it would be good of me to give you some sense of what my new dwelling is like here West of the Ashley River, or as locals know it: West Ashley, West Trashley, West Ashtray, or Slightly-South-West-of-the-7th-most-crime-ridden-city-in-the-USA-ly. (Trying to keep the rhyming goin) Ok, the last few there aren’t entirely accurate, and the Crime in North Charleston is isolated to certain areas, areas that you should probably not even drive through, ever.
Our apartment is very nice. But, being as we are both not rich, i.e. somewhat poor, we have opted not to sign up for Cable TV. Our interweb service is provided by Bellsouth (or At&t, rather), through DSL Direct, so we don’t have to have a phone line. We have yet to get a bill for this service, and I can’t log into the online account…so we’re kind of just waiting for our internet to just shut down. Who knows. But we do not have cable anything. Internet, phone, or Television.
This really isn’t too much of a problem, as both of us watch NBC, ABC, and PBS exclusively. (I do miss the Discovery Channel occaisionally, but not enough to deal with Comcast, nor enough to pay for VH1, MTV, Lifetime, INSP, E! (The Soup being the only exception there), and a plethora of other channels I never ever watch). But, as one would know, the true entertainment of Cable Television lies not within its content, but within the power of the individual to scan through 100 different shows a minimum of 5 times to come to the conclusion that “I might as well just leave it on the all day marathon of Flavor of Love with Flava Flav.” This is how civilizations crumble.
Nevertheless, this source of entertainment must find its replacement, when it is wrenched from the clasps of one who so relied on it. Which brings me to the title of the post, and its poetic mastery that I babbled on about in the first paragraph.
Right outside of our apartment (we’re on the second floor) is the complex pool/hot tub. While the interior of our domicile (legal term, and vocab word from Claims Investigation) remains virtually soundproof to the outside world, once on our Balcony, you are treated to entertainment that only MTV, or the Hills can rival (Are those two things the same thing? I can’t tell anymore). It would seem that the persons who occupy the hot tub and whose voices carry to our apartment balcony, have plenty to talk about with each other - every second of it mindless, every second of it drivel, every second of it commercial free and amazing.
Take, for instance, this conversation between a man and two “ladies” in the hot tub:
man 1: hey there, do either of you two know a good masseuse in this complex.
female 1: we actually don’t live here, sorry.
man 1: aww man, that sucks. My rotator cuff has totally be buggin me out.
female 2: I used to go to a realy good masseuse at Wild Dunes.
man 1: sweet.
The girls go on to have this discussion with him, and then also give away the fact that they do actually live here. This is only a sample, as I didn’t want to risk embellishing the conversation as I remember it.
Also, the girls sound like every comedian’s impression of a dumb blonde - you know, the high slightly raspy/whispery voice, that manages still to be unbearably loud and obnoxious, just so you have the whole picture. The man is a regular in the tub, who is about 42, has a mustache that could kick Tom Selleck’s mustache’s butt, and looks 42. He tries similar “moves” on every female in said tub, and it would be sad if it weren’t for how succes…wait…no, it’s pretty sad.
So this is what I do with my time. I go biking, watch old Alfred Hitchcock movies, and spy on my neighbors. What’s better is there’s a big bush/tree in front of our balcony, blocking us from view of the hot tub, so we can hear everything, and they don’t know we’re there. It’s like if you were to take Rear Window, subtract the murderous husband, the apartment ridden and broken Jimmy Stewart (That would be me, again, but without a broken leg), and the brilliant cinematography. Also, throw in a dash of Laguna Beach.
One of these days I’ll take pictures of the set up here, so you can have a better visual idea of what I’m talking about.
Sadly, due to my lengthy absence, my blog has not gotten too much traffic. It no longer appears on search engine searches as much, and as a result, this segment is lacking as well, but heres what I’ve got:
etrade baby voice: yes, the infernal etrade baby. apparently, even though the super bowl was ages ago, this commercial is still very perplexing to the American public. Who is the voice of that financially savvy infant. Perhaps it is the infant itself, if so, can he help with my investments…it’s all too much.
charlestonphilosopher: apparently someone wanted to find this blog, and only google to find it. Congratulations, friend, you did it! Sorry I havent updated in 10 years.
And thats it. two search terms resulted in people finding my blog. I guess I’m just going to have to step it up with these updates so that my blog can be the destination for people looking for much weirder things, and that I can then make fun of them.
Tomorrow is a very momentous and auspicious day in the Calendar year of the Charleston County Park and Recreation Commission. It’s not the same day every year, as it coincides with the calendar of the Charleston County School District as well, making it equally a momentous day for the teachers of the County as well.
It is the first day that school is out for the summer - which means (more importantly) that your Charleston County Waterparks will now be open every single day until that blessed* day when school goes back in session. (*note, for teachers/students reading this, this word may not fully encapsulate your emotions for the resuming of classes. I fully understand, what with the imperfection of language and all.)
So far, the waterpark has been open on the weekends only, but today was the last day of classes for the county, so everyone will probably be at one of the three waterparks in the area. I have the privilege of working at the second biggest of the two. My last 4 (or is it 5?…think…2007,2006,2005,2004,2003, yep, 5) summers have been spent working at Whirlin Waters Adventure Waterpark - the crown jewel of summer fun in the Lowcountry, excluding, of course, the beaches, and staying inside playing video games/watching tv/vegetating. I would love to recount all the many stories I have from 5 summers of glorious employment at that facility, but I wont. You can search through my old blog at www.livejournal.com/users/cofc_drod, to find them, but seeing as though I’m too lazy to do that, I don’t imagine you will be much up to such a task either.
The best part of the whole thing, though, is that EVERYDAY will now be about as busy as our weekends have been for the last month. yay.
I imagine that time will pass by quickly, that the work will be so constant that we don’t have time to watch the clock, and maybe the summer will just fly by. Or maybe I’ll just rip my hair out. One of the two.
I’m not going to lie. I download music. I have a soulseek-like program for Linux that works like a dream. I’m not about to drop a fourth of a tank of gas on a CD that may well suck. But the record companies can rest easy, because if I really like a cd, I’m probably going to buy it. All the better if it’s offered on Vinyl. I don’t actually listen to CD’s too much. I have my Mp3 player, which is what I use in my car. At home, I usually use my computer or listen to records.
That all being said, I downloaded the new Death Cab Album last week. I was actually hesitant about it, since their single that is being played on 105.5 is hardly my favourite song of theirs. I figured, though, that it may just be that the song (I will possess your heart) has a better place in the album itself, instead of the radio. The song is actually over 8 minutes long, but the radio version cuts out the 4 minute instrumental intro. Anywho, obviously, with my only exposure to this new album being a mediocre single, I was not about to buy the cd. I downloaded the album, and was very glad that I had not paid good money for this lackluster garbage. The first three tracks were good. The single, IWPYH, was much better in context, but after track #3, the album just felt like the band was lazy. It still sounded like Death Cab, but this was not the Band I fell in love with on Transatlanticism.
And there was good reason for that. Apparently, and those of you who keep up with your MTV music news will know already, some blogger played a practical joke by “leaking” an album by a German band called Velveteen as the New Death Cab Album. How was this possible? Here’s a link to the prankster blogger, click on the the icon next to Grapevine Fires to hear what is NOT grapevine fires:
It sounds like a mediocre Death Cab song…or at least boring.
Anyways, my mistake was pointed out to me by my friend Daniel (blog in the right over there, unless you’re reading this blog in an RSS feed thing), who, upon hearing MY Death Cab CD, informed me that this was not the right album, and loaned me his. Yes, he bought the CD…and I ripped it to my computer.
This is much better. What’s funny is that the first three tracks on the CD I downloaded, where were my favourite tracks, were ACTUALLY the right songs, throwing me off even more. Now that I have the real CD, I do like it a lot better. It may actually be some of their best work, if you ask me.
I’m reading the Koran. I saw that it was on our bookshelf, and decided to see what it’s actually all about. The first book is actually interesting, because, and I’m no scholar of Islam, it seems to say that Jews, Christians, and Muslims (The term “Muslim” actually just means one who is surrendered to God), all pretty much have the right idea, and as long as they remain righteous, they’ll be alright - paradise and all. There’s a lengthy section about God’s covenant with the Hebrews, and about Jesus and Mary. I’d always known that Jesus was seen as a prophet in the Religion of Islam. I didn’t realize that he was so prominent. Anyways, it a big book, and I’m working on it. It’s a nice supplement to 6 years of Catholic School.
At least now I know that my blog has probably been tagged by NSA, CIA, and FBI.
So, I’ve decided to actually start biking to work, fairly regularly (read: once or twice a week). With gas prices actually about to hit 4.00 per gallon, I figure every little bit helps. The other options for fuel efficiency are not actually within my (feasible) grasp. I figure they are as follows, in order from most to least feasible:
- smart car: A smart car dealership just opened up this year in Charleston. It’s a tiny building with tiny cars. I figure that a small sacrifice in comfort might be worth not paying 50 bucks to fill up my car every week. I had only seen the tiny “fortwo,” yes that’s it’s name, at the dealership. I decided to look it up yesterday. It gets about 35-45 mpg, has a 3 cylinder engine, and weighs about 1600 pounds. It seats two and has a little room for things like “groceries” or “your gym bag” behind the seats. In contrast, my Corolla gets 30-37 mpg, seats 5, has plenty of room for groceries, my gym bag, and boxes upon boxes whenever I need to move. A bonus is that the Corolla doesn’t look ridiculous. I do want to test drive one, but it’s not really that practical.
- Walking- This, is how I didn’t use any gas for freshman and sophomore year at CofC. I walked everywhere. Sadly, though, living 8 miles from work makes this less time-efficient. This would probably be safest. I don’t think I’ve actually ever walked 8 miles, anyways. I went on a 5 mile hike in boy scouts, and I remember that it took foooorever. I was also 11.
- Dirigible- I can’t imagine that this would actually use that much gasoline. But, to be practical, my hydrogen/helium bills would probably balance out the amount I saved at the pump.
- Living at work- I say this jokingly, but I seriously considered it…and seriously asked my boss about it. I know it’s been a while since you’ve read this blog, but I’m sure you remember that I work at a Park/campground. This seems like a perfect opportunity. I like camping. I have a tent. The Campground has showers. Bam! Apparently this was not OK with the campground manager. I would have just been camping in the primitive area, which normally is temporary home to persons of much the same class as those who accompanied me on various legs of my greyhound journey last summer. Plus, I wouldn’t have been able to do it for free, and 15 bucks per night is not going to save me any money. (Remember, I’m not really concerned about saving the planet hear, I just don’t want to spend so much money. Terrible, I know.)
- Teleportation/Time Travel- I think I’m real close on this one.
- Quit my job, see how long I live on savings until I win the lottery- yes, this is less feasible than time travel, and yet there are plenty people probably who choose this one.
Since I’m not going to do any of those, Biking is going to be my option. It’s about a 16-20 mile round trip to the park from here. If I get about 30 miles to the gallon, city driving, then I’m saving about 1/2-2/3 of a gallon of gas each day I bike to work. If I can use biking to alllow me to fill up my tank only twice a month, then I would be more than able to afford 5 or even 6 dollars for a gallon of gas (which seems like it might actually be the case, since Bush still has plenty of time to worsen our energy independence, and then Obama and Clinton have both said they want to tax the Big Oil companies windfall profits - which, the last time we decided to do that in the 80s, caused us to increase our percentage of imported oil from 30% to 60%. So I’m really not seeing 7 or 8 bucks per gallon as too far fetched) Sorry for the long paranthetical there, I don’t promise that it won’t happen again, as I’m slightly jaded by our choices for president this year. The hardest part about biking to work is getting up early enough. As it is, I bike to work whenever I don’t have class and work from 11-7, and it’s not raining. I’m looking to expand this criteria by seeing if I can’t get up earlier. No promises though.
My next post, I’ll talk about my experience with the new Death Cab for Cutie album.
And Greyhound trip updates are coming…I just have to remember where I left off.
I don’t know how many people will catch this post, since I stopped updating for about a month and a half. I imagine that most of you simply gave up refreshing my blog link. C’est la vie. A quick catch-you-up on my life though:
Saw Ironman- it was awesome.
Started Summer semester for paralegalism - 4.5 hour long classes, two of them, each meets once a week from 6-10:30. Yes, it’s awful.
Bought a collection of Alfred Hitchcock movies - also awesome.
Completely moved into my apartment.
Done absolutely nothing else of interest - hence the lack of entries. But as my title would suggest…I’m back!
This is not an exciting post. Nor is it funny, insightful, or entertaining. Just thought you should know before you commit to reading the rest of it.
The reason I haven’t posted in a while is two-fold. One is that I have been moving into my new apartment. I flew up to St. Louis on Friday, drove back in a Uhaul on Monday and Tuesday, and have just recently finished unpacking everything.
The second reason is that we do not have internet in our apartment. This makes it difficult to post on the internet. Hopefully this will be remedied soon, and you all can resume your reading of my wonderfully insightful/entertaining/funny/exciting blog.
I will post about the trip, but I’m at work right now, and don’t have time to do so.
First off, I get countless hits from searches for “etrade baby” and “greyhound” related searches, which is why I sort of discontinued this regular feature, but I’ve gotten some really good ones recently, so enjoy!
Bemidji Strip Club: I was in Bemidji, and I gotta tell you, I think that a Strip Club would be a little out of place in the Curling Capital of the USA. - I just did a search on the Yellow pages for Bemidji, and there are in fact no strip clubs in the town. There are stripping “services” but no clubs to speak of. I imagine that if they did have one, it would be Paul Bunyon/ lumberjack themed.
rush hour renegades full house: this takes me back to one of my early posts. For those who don’t remember, this was the name of the Radio show DJed by Uncles Jesse and Joey on Full House. I actually caught an episode yesterday, where the duo invited DJ, Kimmy and Steve for their new segment “Teen Talk” or “Yakkin with Youth” (what to call it was a point of contention between the two hosts). The subject was smoking and peer pressure. I sure learned my lesson - don’t watch episodes of Full House that feature the Rush Hour Renegades.
karaoke internetā: one, I don’t know what the “ā” is for there. two, I still have not mentioned karaoke in any one of my posts, except in posts like these to say that I’ve not mentioned it. To appease these people who keep searching for Karaoke on my blog, I vow to go do Karaoke here within the next two weeks and report in detail back to you.
booby trapped coffee urn: I honestly can think of nothing to say for this. nothing.
Olive Garden cheese biscuits: ah…you are confusing Mediocre italian food with mediocre seafood. Red Lobster has cheese biscuits, while OG has regular ol’ breadsticks. Both of these breads are delicious, but still do not make up for the general mediocrity of their restaurants.
how many unisom for high: this person is an idiot. I’d like to picture him typing this in, bottle of unisom in hand, scouring the web to find out how he can get high because he ran out of money for pot. Maybe he should have watched the abovementioned Full House episode and learned a thing or two about following the crowd.
Last week, I did my EMS ride along with a Dorchester County medic unit. As a First Responder I am encouraged to get hands on experience with my newly acquired life saving skills. Most of it is me observing “the action,” but there are times where I can play a crucial role in helping the paramedics perform basic life saving procedures.
Sadly, this ride along did not contain any such moments. While it is good for them, and I guess for the people who were not injured or in need of transport to the hospital, it was boring for me. We had two calls the entire time I was there (9am-8pm).
The first was a fender bender in Summerville, and no one was seriously injured, but one of the parties was complaining of abdominal pain, so we transported her to the hospital. Done and done. Back to the station.
Now you may wonder what those paramedics do on slow days where people aren’t off injuring themselves. Well I got to find out…first hand.
First we had the exciting task of eating some snacks! Rice crispie treats, nutter butters, granola bars - you name it, they had it! EXCITING!
Then we watched some TV! I’m not talking regular TV here, I’m talking Daytime TV - the crap you never watch because you’re at school/work or sleeping. NON STOP ACTION!!
Four episodes of “Tales from the Darkside” later (The 80’s cheesy version of the Twilight Zone), we grab some lunch. LUNCH!
We then put in a movie, The Sentinel with Michael Douglas. MEDIOCRE AT BEST!!
Then we eat dinner at Alex’s restaurant. I’ve never eaten at Alex’s and it not be 2am. It was a new experience for me. GREASY DINER!!
But then, we get our second call. A man is having respiratory problems and needs a transport to the hospital. This is actually and interesting experience, because I got to see all of my “airway” training put into use. The man’s breathing was not getting better, but he was stable when we got him to the hospital. NORMAL VITALS!
Then after all was done, I went home. I do want to do this again, but hopefully for Charleston County, where all the action is (or so I’ve heard).
For those of you who don’t know, one of my favourite shows is Seinfeld. There hasn’t been a single episode that I haven’t thought was hilarious, and I own seasons 1-4 on DVD.
It is in this vein that I have come up with a Seinfeldian nickname for a class of people that annoy me to no end:
The Winkers - It really is as simple as it sounds. People who wink at me annoy me. There are few exceptions: a member of the opposite sex using it (very) sparingly as a means of flirtation or anyone using it to make fun of said group, The Winkers.
What usually makes the Winkers so annoying is that they are unceasingly pleasant. I am reminded of “The Texan” as introduced in the first chapter of “Catch 22.” It’s really this notion of unceasing that is key to my dislike of this group. They constantly joke and use sarcasm, and feel the need to punctuate 98% of these jokes and sly remarks with a wink.
Winkers are often the same as Invaders of personal space. They will place a hand on your shoulder as a greeting, completely throwing you off your guard. It is also likely that they really like shaking hands and being overly friendly all the time.
Even if, and this is the key part, you’ve been introduced already and have known this person for a period of time longer than one week.
If you find you are a winker, don’t fret, the fact that you realize you’re a winker is the first step to recovery.
I’ve realized, after writing this, that we have a winker currently leading our country.
